Date : Thu, 6 Mar 97 0:20:04 EST From : Nordquist at Questar Data Systems, Minneapolis Subject: Church bulletin humor (DISCLAIMER: I am a Christian; my point is thus obviously not to blast the Church. I just found these very amusing.) SENTENCES WHICH ACTUALLY APPEARED IN A CHURCH BULLETIN OR WERE ANNOUNCED IN A SERVICE This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. Tuesday at 4 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. Will ladies giving milk, please come early. Wednesday the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johns will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor. Thursday at 5 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers will please meet the Minister in his study. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jackson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join her. On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpeting. All wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -- brent@questar.mn.org (...!meccts!questar!brent) -- From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and Jim Griffith. This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup rec.humor.funny. Visit http://comedy.clari.net/rhf to browse the RHF pages and archives on the web. Rec.humor.funny and RHF.reruns are provided by ClariNet, publisher of the net's largest (1.5 million paying subscriber) E-newspaper. http://www.clari.net Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns From: brent@questar.QUESTAR.MN.ORG (Nordquist) Subject: Church bulletin humor Organization: Questar Data Systems, Minneapolis Approved: rhf-reruns@clari.net Keywords: rec.humor, laugh, originally appeared in 1987 Path: news.demon.co.uk!dispatch.news.demon.net!demon!news.maxwell.syr.edu!feed1.news.erols.com!arclight.uoregon.edu!enews.sgi.com!lll-winken.llnl.gov!fugue.clari.net!funny-request Message-ID: Date: Thu, 6 Mar 97 0:20:04 EST Lines: 55 Xref: demon rec.humor.funny.reruns:192