Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: erkki.tapola@welho.com Subject: Stop the Genocide Keywords: chuckle, computers, original Approved: funny-request@clari.net Path: alphapro.demon.co.uk!news.demon.co.uk!demon!dispose.news.demon.net!demon!feed1.news.erols.com!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!su-news-feed4.bbnplanet.com!news.bbnplanet.com!fugue.clari.net!funny-request Message-ID: Date: Sun, 9 Nov 97 19:30:03 EST Lines: 35 Xref: alphapro.demon.co.uk rec.humor.funny:320 STOP THE GENOCIDE Erkki Tapola 29-Jul-96 Every second billions of innocent assembler instructions are executed all over the world. Inhumanly they are put on a pipeline and executed with no regard to their feelings. The illegal instructions are spared, although they should be executed instead of the legal ones. Prior to the execution the instructions are transported to a cache unit using a bus. There they spent their last moments waiting for the execution. Just before the execution the instruction is separated into several pieces. The execution isn't always fast and painless. On crude hardware the execution of a complex instruction can take as long as 150 clock cycles. Scientists are working on shorter execution times. Microsoft endorses the needless execution of instructions with their products like DOS(TM), Windows(TM), Word(TM) and Excel(TM). It is more humane to use software which minimises the executions. Modern machines use several units to execute multiple instructions simultaneously. This way it is possible to execute several hundred million instructions per second. The time is near when there will be no more instructions to execute. ACT NOW! Before it's too late This article was written on recycled paper by hand. -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@clari.net. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes. You think I have time to hand-correct everybody's postings? For the full submission guidelines, see http://comedy.clari.net/rhf/