How about this for a great reason to keep on using Acorns... My brother sent me this after yet another frustrating call on MS support. He relies on his computer for his living, so wasn't best pleased. Anyone here ever rang in for help or support? Here's an article adapted by Archer Maclean, based on a shorter version by Bill Poel. ''Microsoft : Where do you want to eat today'' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If microsoft ran a restaurant, can you just imagine it ??? PATRON Waiter ! Waiter ! WAITER Hi, My name is Bill. I'm your support waiter for this evening. whats seems to be the problem ? PATRON Theres a fly in my soup ! WAITER Try looking again, sir, maybe it wont be there thistime. We've never had bugs in our soup. Its impossible. PATRON No, its still there. WAITER Maybe its the way you're eating the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead, this might cure the problem. PATRON Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. WAITER Did you consider the capacity of the bowl prior to installing the soup? PATRON ehh? WAITER Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using? PATRON A completley ordinary soup bowl! WAITER Are you sure its a restauarnt approved bowl ? does it have a our sticker on it ? PATRON Its one of your soup bowls. There are no other soup bowl suppliers in here. WAITER Does it have a serial number. I might need to check it for authorised use. PATRON Its one of your standard bowls. You just brought it to me. WAITER Hmmm. well it should work. No one else has ever reported this kind of problem before. We never have this sort of problem normally. Indeed we only set up the waiter service to reassure our customers. PATRON Well even so, there is still a fly in my soup that you served to me in your restaurant in this bowl. WAITER Hmmm. Maybe its a configuration problem. Have you checked the set up off all the other associated accessories? PATRON What? WAITER Well, how was the bowl set up when you started out? PATRON Look, you brought me the soup on a large plate a few minutes ago, whats that got to do with the soup bowl set up ? WAITER Can you remember precisely everything you did up until the exact moment you noticed the apparent fly in the soup? PATRON Listen, I sat down, and ordered soup of the day. You brought it over, and there it was. WAITER Ok, Ok, but have you considered upgrading to the latest soup of the day ? PATRON Oh no, You have more than one soup of the day each day?? WAITER Well yes, the soup of the day is changed every hour or so, just as quickly as we can add enhancements. PATRON Alright then, what is the soup of the day now? WAITER The current soup of the day is a much more advanced soup, called Tomato Soup. (c.1997 microsoft, TM microsoft. no unauthorised use of 'tomato' permitted. ever. by anyone.). Its going to revolutionise soup as we know it. Everyone will use it. We will be greater. PATRON ahhhh. fine. ok. I'm hungry, so I'll have it. Bring me the tomato soup and the cheque. I'm running way behind schedule now. WAITER Well how about soup NT? We only recommend this for hungry users. PATRON Listen, Bill, Bug free Soup of the day. NOW! .. .. WAITER Here you are sir, your soup and the cheque. PATRON But this is potato soup ? WAITER Yes, the tomato soup hasnt been perfected just yet. PATRON Arrrgghh. Ok. Its fine. It looks fly free. I'll just have to have it. But I never want to come here again. WAITER I'm sorry you feel that way sir. As the only resatuarant in town we always try and please our clients.... . . ... and the bill read :- Soup of the day 3.00 Upgrade to newer soup 1.99 Access to soup support 10.00 Waste surcharge 2.00 Management time 5.00 addtitional replacement utensils 0.99 Window cleaning charge 4.00 total 38.55 (The till had a 3 yr old pentium inside ) Management note: apparent 'Bug' feature in original soup was included for no extra charge. All further soups of the day will not be supplied with this feature enabled. ------ Sorry it's long, but it was kinda necessary... Cheers, Hal -- | | /\ | |__| /__\ | | | / \ |__ "Welcome to Earth!!"